I only wanted to be in and out...

I'm driving to the apartment and rehearsing how the next few minutes will play out. "This will be a surgical extraction. Go in, round up the package with a bare minimum amount of conversation because you're tired and you have a 25 minute drive home" I tell myself. I got my game face on and I'm ready. Things NEVER seem to go as planned, although this was a welcomed delay. Upon pulling up in the apartment I see this:

I'm surveying the situation thinking "What in the hell did he do to get his shit tossed out?" All is quiet, so I go inside. Once inside, I look out the window to get a better pic of the scene, shown here:

I get what I came for and on my way out, I walk into what I just knew was the fight:

As it turns out, the two guys walking through the debris aren't involved in the situation. I did notice the lady to the far left of the picture looking disheveled and upset, so I assumed she shook the spot because she was about to get some "straightening" for throwing his shit out. Get this: the clothes on the ground are the lady's in the picture! Found that out because her bitch-made boyfriend is yelling at her out of the window calling her all kinds of sluts and whores. Now, listening in to everything, it's clear that she had sex with somebody other than him. I'm not mad at him for being mad, but throwing her shit out the window gets your man card revoked. I chuckle and then open the car door when I hear another lady yelling "Wait, wait!" I wait to see what's to come and the best moment of the night presents itself. Remember those two guys walking through the stuff on the lawn? The lady yelling was trying to get them to hold the door because she didn't have a key. They either ignored her didn't hear her and continued into the apartment. She hauled ass to get catch the door, but to no avail. She was running too fast for those baby doll shoes and was on some Charlie Brown just missed kicking the football shit! I had to focus in order to get the shot, but then laughed until my stomach hurt.

Swaggin' and Surfin'

So.....I'm driving home after a long day trying to figure some things out and I'm not in the best of moods. I'm road raging because this ass just cut me off and stopped me from making my left turn. Good thing I waited. I'm fussing and cussing as if my rant will make the van magically speed up. When the van turned, I punched the gas to complete my turn and avoid the traffic behind him because I waited long enough due to Mr. Rude. I start tailgating the van (I know...) for no good reason when something caught the corner of my eye. I look up and see a mattress and a shoe. "Hmmmm...What's wrong with this picture I ask myself?" The shoe should have fallen off during the turn and the mattress isn't tied down. How about it's weighted down with this crazy fuck ON TOP OF EVERYTHING! I don't know about you but in my highest and drunkest of days, I don't know if I would have tried to pull this off. I present: Dub T Surfing

Zebra can't change it's stripes...

So, I'm at the bowling alley working on a decent game and I hear all of this commotion. That's not unheard of in the bowling alley, so I try to ignore it and continue working on the rest of my game. Instead of dying down, the noise persisted and then increased. I had to see what the clamoring was about. I get about 6 pairs of lanes down and I spot him. Even though I was working on a good game, I had to run out to the truck, get the camera and capture this on wax. Without further ado, I present to you: Zebra Head...

Welcome!

It's been a long time in the making, but we're finally live. Welcome to the up & coming portal for all sorts of comical faux pas and debauchery. We aim to be your one-stop shop for all your humorous ignorance. We will highlight the lighter side and something positive on the "Urban Delight" tab, but make no mistake about it: Our focus is on reporting the thoughtless misdeeds that others choose to do.

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Thanks again and laugh hard,
Poppa Rotsee